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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Student/teacher relationship


ShriKali.orgOld 07-24-2013, 10:01 PM This seems to be a contentious issue, but my take is that I see no inherent wrong in it. In advance, this post may seem tl;dr, however there are a number of points I wish to convey.

Some equate it to a doctor/patient relationship, but personally I don't see how this is so. As a doctor cures/manages illness, then obviously ethical practice and good judgement can be compromised should a doctor and patient be friends or more. Also, medicine is obviously a case of life and death in numerous cases. In contemporary society at least, yoga is seen largely as a means of improving fitness, and certainly not a life and death thing as medicine. This may detract from how yoga was envisioned thousands of years ago, but societies and norms change over time and per place.

Also, I would have no issue attending a class in which the teacher and his or her students were friends. Provided that all students had means to approach the teacher concerning asana advice, or that modifications/adjustments were provided to all, then I see no issue. the teacher could even say at the start of the class "say hello to Tim my husband over there" and I wouldn't mind. Provided the teacher didn't only offer adjustments to "Tim", then again it's immaterial as I see it. I would say in general, people leave yoga classes if they feel uncomfortable, for whatever reason.

On this general topic though, I am a new yogi, since I started about a year ago. I go to a studio about 5 miles away from me, and attend a class run by a 30 year old woman. I had to have a hiatus, due to work commitments, but left some messages on her Facebook page regarding her classes. She added me as a friend there, and said she missed me in classes and wanted me to come back. When I did return (as work tasks eased) she welcomed me warmly and said it was good to see me again.

I'm a bit confused of her intentions though. I know that everybody is different, but is she just happy to see a familiar face in class, or does she want to be friends? Per the points above, I don't see an issue with it, however I don't get what she is about here.

Thanks. Yoga Teacher Training Schools India 07-25-2013, 10:44 AM
InnerAthlete's Avatar Healthy, clean boundaries are all that is required of a teacher of yoga. However it is apparent that such a miniscule requirement is often overwhelming to some and they cannot shoulder the responsibility. Typically this is a result of lack of practice, ineffective practice, or a teacher training program lacking in ethics.

Yoga teachers, by definition of Yoga, are in a constant state of self-examination. Ergo each interaction and its context may be evaluated independently. However there are some ethical parameters that are best adhered to - and by "best" I mean in the interest of less suffering for both teacher and student. After all, the practice itself is a suffering reduction program.

Yoga teachers should be kind, caring, and friendly to all students. The job is to support those interested in learning the practice and growing as human beings. Confusion isn't helpful when trying to make progress - be that in a posture or in a behavior. So whatever message is being sent by the yoga teacher it should be as clear as possible and have no room for being misinterpreted.

Yoga meets you where you are. If you are moving in and committed then you receive that level of relationship back. If you are tentative, on the fringe, skeptical, and infrequent then obviously the energetic response matches your own. There are additional energetic issues which we refer to as "cording" and it's a conversation unto itself.

A nice practice is to absorb sutra 1:33 from Patanjali's work and try to live it for 21 days.

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M.S. Kinesiology, Indiana University Old 07-25-2013, 03:09 PM The question is what is the subject-matter here, in the student's perception. This may vary from 'simply imitating the physical configuration as per the demo' to 'knowing why and launching an ever-evolving quest' for life.

So, the next question is whether it is the right location. All yoga studios are not made equal, neither are the teachers. So, a teacher should know exactly why any one is there and remain in sync.

When not in sync, the other aspects of life creep in. Namismybabe, for example seems to be so much aware of the teacher and her behavior that his/her own definition of yoga appears to be very narrow.

Thus, 'her intentions' are in focus; not yoga.

Old 07-26-2013, 08:41 AM Originally Posted by Suhas Tambe View Post The question is what is the subject-matter here, in the student's perception. This may vary from 'simply imitating the physical configuration as per the demo' to 'knowing why and launching an ever-evolving quest' for life.

So, the next question is whether it is the right location. All yoga studios are not made equal, neither are the teachers. So, a teacher should know exactly why any one is there and remain in sync.

When not in sync, the other aspects of life creep in. Namismybabe, for example seems to be so much aware of the teacher and her behavior that his/her own definition of yoga appears to be very narrow.

Thus, 'her intentions' are in focus; not yoga.

lol.. so instead of answering my question, you insult me? lol..

Moreover, why is it so "bad" or reprehensible to form relationships in any avenue of human endeavour? Granted, the ancient yogis may not have done so, but I don't live nor was raised in ancient India. I can only thus act and adapt based on my own culture, environment and upbringing.

Old 07-26-2013, 10:28 AM Originally Posted by InnerAthlete View Post Healthy, clean boundaries are all that is required of a teacher of yoga. However it is apparent that such a miniscule requirement is often overwhelming to some and they cannot shoulder the responsibility. Typically this is a result of lack of practice, ineffective practice, or a teacher training program lacking in ethics.

Yoga teachers, by definition of Yoga, are in a constant state of self-examination. Ergo each interaction and its context may be evaluated independently. However there are some ethical parameters that are best adhered to - and by "best" I mean in the interest of less suffering for both teacher and student. After all, the practice itself is a suffering reduction program.

Yoga teachers should be kind, caring, and friendly to all students. The job is to support those interested in learning the practice and growing as human beings. Confusion isn't helpful when trying to make progress - be that in a posture or in a behavior. So whatever message is being sent by the yoga teacher it should be as clear as possible and have no room for being misinterpreted.

Yoga meets you where you are. If you are moving in and committed then you receive that level of relationship back. If you are tentative, on the fringe, skeptical, and infrequent then obviously the energetic response matches your own. There are additional energetic issues which we refer to as "cording" and it's a conversation unto itself.

A nice practice is to absorb sutra 1:33 from Patanjali's work and try to live it for 21 days.

So what is to be taken out of this situation? I agree that yoga teachers must be as friendly as possible to all students, but is her intent simply to be welcoming to a familiar student, or to essentially say "let's be buddies"? I have no true preference towards either, however it's confusing. I don't want to start to misinterpret her actions as the latter, as of course not all yoga teachers are open to making friends with students (and not in a bad way, but many people like to keep work and private life separate). Old 07-28-2013, 11:28 AM Verily a contentious issue.

As with most things, it is not the issue but the reactiveness to the issue that really needs consideration non?

Suhas Tambe offers some insight and instead of due consideration you react, perhaps in jest, as if the intent is an insult to you.

Relationships between student teacher will illicit numerous reactions.

There is more than the student and teacher in this relationship.
There are the other students, coworkers, and general public to consider.
In fact there is the community and of course since we are a global village there is the word's reaction to this studio, to this practice, to this style, and to Yoga to consider.

Please consider the world wide reaction to John Friend, Anusara community, and to Yoga after his alleged trists and exploration of sexuality and substance on and off the mat.

Hundred's of teachers resigned their Anusara licences, thousands of students were effected and the practice of Yoga was criticized world-wide.

Likewise sexual scandal resulted in Kripalu founder YOGI AMRIT DESAI formerly the head the “largest and most established yoga retreat in North America", being reportedly forced to leave by his own students.

There is much to each of these highlighted stories and to consider. There is much to your story to be considered. Your actions create reactions.

Good luck with your journey, and your choices on and off that mat.

Namaste

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Experience never errs.
Only your judgment errs by promising itself results which your experiments didn't produce.
Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) Old 07-30-2013, 02:17 PM My first post was really a response to Moreover, why is it so "bad" or reprehensible to form relationships in any avenue of human endeavour?

The examples show how reactions to relationships between student and teacher can have great consequences.

In your particular case I don't think there is a relationship to question.

I work at a large studio and many of the teachers contact their students using social media. If students do not show up for a while they are sometimes contacted.

I myself have been contacted by an instructor who said that she missed me in her classes, and it encouraged me to go back to her classes. I was flattered by the contact but did not need to think the contact message was anything more than it was.

You were missed, easy to contact, so you were.

__________________
Experience never errs.
Only your judgment errs by promising itself results which your experiments didn't produce.
Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) Old 07-31-2013, 03:00 PM Originally Posted by namismybabe View Post I'm a bit confused of her intentions though. I know that everybody is different, but is she just happy to see a familiar face in class, or does she want to be friends? Per the points above, I don't see an issue with it, however I don't get what she is about here.This particular livelihood relies on the number of people who attend her classes. The optimist might say:
-She's a people person, and enjoys meeting new people (which is a great trait for a yoga teacher).

The pessimist might say:
-She is only being nice to you because you're a paying customer and she wants to retain you.

I think either way you will be able to tell if she is genuinely interested in being kind for kindness' sake, or kind so she can keep you as a student. The friendship may not go outside the classroom, but let that take its pace naturally. Maybe you both attend a yoga workshop elsewhere and find you're both interested in hiking, etc.

Old 08-05-2013, 12:36 PM Originally Posted by Yogamark View Post My first post was really a response to Moreover, why is it so "bad" or reprehensible to form relationships in any avenue of human endeavour?

The examples show how reactions to relationships between student and teacher can have great consequences.

In your particular case I don't think there is a relationship to question.

I work at a large studio and many of the teachers contact their students using social media. If students do not show up for a while they are sometimes contacted.

I myself have been contacted by an instructor who said that she missed me in her classes, and it encouraged me to go back to her classes. I was flattered by the contact but did not need to think the contact message was anything more than it was.

You were missed, easy to contact, so you were.

Sorry, but I did interpret his or her comment as an insult. Perhaps s/he needs to learn to communicate better, but that's his or her issue. Old 08-06-2013, 07:04 PM Namismybabe I have some anxiety around social contact and your misgivings about your teachers' motives sound very familiar. I won't offer you any advice because the previous posts are very helpful. That being said - this is an interesting, thought provoking, podcast which looks at student teacher relationships and the general attitude towards the practice:
http://www.decolonizingyoga.com/rethinking-yoga-podcast-inclusion-activism-and-sex-scandals/

YG

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Be noble for you are made of stars.

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Old 08-06-2013, 07:39 PM Originally Posted by Yogamark View Post My first post was really a response to Moreover, why is it so "bad" or reprehensible to form relationships in any avenue of human endeavour?

The examples show how reactions to relationships between student and teacher can have great consequences.

Yes, since s/he questioned by so-called "commitment" to yoga. And?
In your particular case I don't think there is a relationship to question.

I work at a large studio and many of the teachers contact their students using social media. If students do not show up for a while they are sometimes contacted.

I myself have been contacted by an instructor who said that she missed me in her classes, and it encouraged me to go back to her classes. I was flattered by the contact but did not need to think the contact message was anything more than it was.

You were missed, easy to contact, so you were.

OK. So anything that happens to you must occur to all others? Old 08-07-2013, 11:50 AM lol.. so instead of answering my question, you insult me? lol..

Moreover, why is it so "bad" or reprehensible to form relationships in any avenue of human endeavour? Granted, the ancient yogis may not have done so, but I don't live nor was raised in ancient India. I can only thus act and adapt based on my own culture, environment and upbringing.

There is neither time nor inclination to insult.

This appears to be a relationship issue and as likely to happen in a yoga studio as in a doctor's waiting room or a public garden. And as the doctor's proficiency or the garden-keeper's skills will not be the points of focus, yoga is not either a promoter or a cause.

In contemporary society at least, yoga is seen largely as a means of improving fitness, and certainly not a life and death thing as medicine. This may detract from how yoga was envisioned thousands of years ago, but societies and norms change over time and per place. One of the writer's own rhetorical statements "anything that happens to you must occur to all others?" answers the above quote. If the 'contemporary society' is a Western country, yoga is seen as a fitness thing, because yoga isn't born here. It is a misconception nurtured by the commercial interests. Because yoga of thousands of years legacy answers very profound and fundamental questions, it addresses the whole humanity and is rooted in the universality. The yoga of thousands of years' existence is not tailored for societies or fashioned after cultural trends to change with time or place.

The creators of yoga developed the practice in the labs of their own self by dwelling within. Hence, yoga's ends states occur in the inner domain making the external events inconsequential. If this was to be the focus of this thread, one could have discussed a yoga teacher's behavior in the context of yama-niyama or a need for a student to disengage from the external triggers to march ahead on the yoga path.

Old 08-11-2013, 05:52 PM Originally Posted by Suhas Tambe View Post There is neither time nor inclination to insult.

This appears to be a relationship issue and as likely to happen in a yoga studio as in a doctor's waiting room or a public garden. And as the doctor's proficiency or the garden-keeper's skills will not be the points of focus, yoga is not either a promoter or a cause.

One of the writer's own rhetorical statements "anything that happens to you must occur to all others?" answers the above quote. If the 'contemporary society' is a Western country, yoga is seen as a fitness thing, because yoga isn't born here. It is a misconception nurtured by the commercial interests. Because yoga of thousands of years legacy answers very profound and fundamental questions, it addresses the whole humanity and is rooted in the universality. The yoga of thousands of years' existence is not tailored for societies or fashioned after cultural trends to change with time or place.

The creators of yoga developed the practice in the labs of their own self by dwelling within. Hence, yoga's ends states occur in the inner domain making the external events inconsequential. If this was to be the focus of this thread, one could have discussed a yoga teacher's behavior in the context of yama-niyama or a need for a student to disengage from the external triggers to march ahead on the yoga path.

ha hah.. yet you said that I didn't understand yoga. It is up to you to determine who understands yoga "properly"? Old 08-12-2013, 07:03 AM Some equate it to a doctor/patient relationship, but personally I don't see how this is so. As a doctor cures/manages illness, then obviously ethical practice and good judgement can be compromised should a doctor and patient be friends or more. Also, medicine is obviously a case of life and death in numerous cases. In contemporary society at least, yoga is seen largely as a means of improving fitness, and certainly not a life and death thing as medicine. This may detract from how yoga was envisioned thousands of years ago, but societies and norms change over time and per place. If your idea of yoga is for fitness and your fitness instructor sees herself as such, then as pointed out by Suhas, it is no different than going to a gym. And while there are many teachers of yoga who teach only "fitness" yoga, I think the majority teach "Yoga." I don't see Yoga as being diluted, but actually the opposite. I see a movement to bring Yoga back to its roots in the West. How do you view Yoga? Your answer will guide you to handling this situation.

I think you have received very good offerings from the contributors of this thread. Some may be difficult to embrace, but nonetheless a perspective that needs to be considered.

As a teacher of Yoga, it is my responsibility to guide my students and assist them on their journey. A good teacher will foster a sense of community where a safe place to practice is created and communication is open and honest. There are no hidden agendas. Yamas and Niyamas are are taken seriously, discussed and practiced. Intentions of both teacher and student should be clear and not open to interpretation. If one of my students has been out for some time, I most definitely will write or call them. But usually this never happens as they will communicate when they need to miss class. Is this unusual? I can't say if it is or not. This is my experience.

OK. So anything that happens to you must occur to all others? Yogamark was simply answering the question in your last paragraph based upon his experience.

Unless your teacher has conveyed that her intention is romantic in nature, accept that she does genuinely care for you as a student and thus her concern was appropriate in the context of a "teacher-student" relationship.

Old 08-12-2013, 09:42 PM Originally Posted by lotusgirl View Post If your idea of yoga is for fitness and your fitness instructor sees herself as such, then as pointed out by Suhas, it is no different than going to a gym. And while there are many teachers of yoga who teach only "fitness" yoga, I think the majority teach "Yoga." I don't see Yoga as being diluted, but actually the opposite. I see a movement to bring Yoga back to its roots in the West. How do you view Yoga? Your answer will guide you to handling this situation.

I think you have received very good offerings from the contributors of this thread. Some may be difficult to embrace, but nonetheless a perspective that needs to be considered.

As a teacher of Yoga, it is my responsibility to guide my students and assist them on their journey. A good teacher will foster a sense of community where a safe place to practice is created and communication is open and honest. There are no hidden agendas. Yamas and Niyamas are are taken seriously, discussed and practiced. Intentions of both teacher and student should be clear and not open to interpretation. If one of my students has been out for some time, I most definitely will write or call them. But usually this never happens as they will communicate when they need to miss class. Is this unusual? I can't say if it is or not. This is my experience.

Yogamark was simply answering the question in your last paragraph based upon his experience.

Unless your teacher has conveyed that her intention is romantic in nature, accept that she does genuinely care for you as a student and thus her concern was appropriate in the context of a "teacher-student" relationship.

OK, so let me get this straight:

- I ask an innocent question, and I am told that I am "not following yoga properly", as if you are the supreme yoga authority

- You criticise me and lecture me for seeing yoga as merely fitness, when yes it's "bad" to be influenced by society. I'm a human being, so per that rationale I must stop speaking and abstracting.

- The tone of the person above is highly dismissive, as if she thinks my point is categorically irrelevant. ha ha.. who is she to determine this? I thought the spiritual gods promoted kindness at all times lol.. I am just one human being, I don't deem anything absolutely wortwhile or not.

Old 08-13-2013, 04:44 AM Namismybabe,

You posted a question and you got answers. I don't see my tone as dismissive or critical and I'm sorry you do. Was simply offering a teachers perspective.

Best of luck to you.

Old 08-14-2013, 12:50 PM Originally Posted by lotusgirl View Post Namismybabe,

You posted a question and you got answers. I don't see my tone as dismissive or critical and I'm sorry you do. Was simply offering a teachers perspective.

Best of luck to you.

I don't like people telling me my point is worthless.

I don't see where you obtain the authority to do this, nor proclaim this as the absolute standard.

Old 08-14-2013, 01:02 PM Namismybabe,

You have 10 posts in this thread and 33 "I"s.

Old 08-14-2013, 02:44 PM
ray_killeen's Avatar In general there is certain intensity behind namismybabe’s words, along with it comes a curiosity of what source generates such energy, alas (s)he may be on the verge of being chased off. BTW namismybabe Yoga (assuming there is a doer) is an effort to bring oneself in union/yoke from that which they’ve never been separate, realization of true inner nature…it does this through skillful technique and comprehensive methodologies that allows expansion of consciousness therefore whatever works would be considered Yoga, there are as many types Yoga as there are humans, the method you are practicing here falls under the category of J?ana yoga. Since individual human conditions have finite existence it may be difficult to reinvent the wheel (a personal method of Yoga) in ones’ lifespan perhaps a more prudent means may be to utilize the expansion of human consciousness from others' endeavors and tailor it for ones needs, therefore it’s up to the so called seeker to decide which Yoga’s best suits their disposition, meanwhile it seems perfectly sensible, even though it appears hard-nosed, to question until something resonates with you before attempting trial and error, even if you don’t make many friends doing it. It doesn’t seem like anyone is trying to jerk your chain and even if there were you can’t control what they do but you can control how you react. Old 08-16-2013, 09:35 AM Originally Posted by ray_killeen View Post In general there is certain intensity behind namismybabe?s words, along with it comes a curiosity of what source generates such energy, alas (s)he may be on the verge of being chased off. BTW namismybabe Yoga (assuming there is a doer) is an effort to bring oneself in union/yoke from that which they?ve never been separate, realization of true inner nature?it does this through skillful technique and comprehensive methodologies that allows expansion of consciousness therefore whatever works would be considered Yoga, there are as many types Yoga as there are humans, the method you are practicing here falls under the category of J?ana yoga. Since individual human conditions have finite existence it may be difficult to reinvent the wheel (a personal method of Yoga) in ones? lifespan perhaps a more prudent means may be to utilize the expansion of human consciousness from others' endeavors and tailor it for ones needs, therefore it?s up to the so called seeker to decide which Yoga?s best suits their disposition, meanwhile it seems perfectly sensible, even though it appears hard-nosed, to question until something resonates with you before attempting trial and error, even if you don?t make many friends doing it. It doesn?t seem like anyone is trying to jerk your chain and even if there were you can?t control what they do but you can control how you react.I don't believe that. Reply


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